WIRED
PLAY

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This section covers the ins and outs of wired play and some tips that can help make it safer for us and our sex partners, fuckbuddies, lovers and friends – and I know some of you gagged when reading those descriptions – I gagged having to write them!

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WHAT IS IT?

The term wired play is often used when people choose to use alcohol and drugs and have sex. While we may have seen wired play described in many ways on different hook-up apps, like PnP, WIR3D, 💨 or ❄️, there are always new and emerging ways that people can signal what they are up for. To keep it simple, we’ll use wired play to include all types of sex where alcohol and drugs are used.

WHY DO PEOPLE DO IT?

Using alcohol and drugs while having sex can powerfully enhance our feelings and experience of pleasure. And sex is all about pleasure – that’s generally why we do it right?

We choose to use alcohol and drugs and have sex for many reasons.

  • It can help loosen up our inhibitions and give us a sense of feeling more sexually free.
  • It can boost our feelings of confidence and reduce our fears of being rejected.
  • It can keep us aroused and into sex for longer, sometimes days on end.
  • It can give us the extra nudge to do something sexually that we might not have done sober.

Some other reasons why we might get into wired play include:

  • Feeling bored or lonely;
  • To feel closer and more connected to people we are having sex with;
  • To feel part of a community or group;
  • To help cope with any feelings of shame or experiences of trauma;
  • To escape feelings of self-judgment;
  • Peer pressure; and
  • It’s connected to our sense of identity.
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WHAT DRUGS ARE USED?

Any drugs, including alcohol, can be used during wired play sessions, but in gay men’s communities, the most commonly used drugs in wired sessions are meth and G – or both. Mixing drugs is a complicated business and it’s best to check what drugs work with each other and what don’t play so nicely together. Use our Mix and Match section to know more about mixing drugs.

 

Are there any risks?

Wired play can be really, really, really fun, but of course, there are some risks involved. All drug and alcohol use comes with risks, and this applies when taking them and having sex. The risks will depend on the drugs we are taking, how long we are taking them for (i.e., 4 hours or 4 days), how we are using them, who we are using with and where we are using them.

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HOW TO REDUCE THE RISKS?

Never fear – we’ve put together some tips that can help reduce the risks that come with wired play.

It helps to know what alcohol and drugs the people we’re having sex with have chosen to use and it helps if they know what we’ve taken too. Have a chat with them before things get hot and heavy about what drugs are being taken. That way, if something goes a bit pearshaped and an ambulance gets called, each of you can let the paramedics know what’s been taken and the best care and support can be provided.

Some particular drug combinations can have unpredictable effects whereas others may have more synergy. So it’s best to know what to expect when mixing drugs. Check out the Mix and Match section for more details.

Informed consent means that we understand what we are giving our consent to and nothing is preventing us from agreeing to, saying no or changing our mind.

  • Consent ensures that our boundaries, feelings and choices are respected.
  • Make consent part of the action! Keep checking in with the person or people we’re having sex with to see if everyone feels safe, respected and comfortable.
  • If someone is experiencing the effects of alcohol and drugs to the point where they cannot consciously and verbally consent to sexual activities, then they cannot give informed consent.

Read more about consent when taking drugs.

Going to try something new? Feeling relaxed enough to push the boundaries? Then communication is key! If we’re going to try something new it’s best to let our sex partners know – just so they can start and go slow and that it’s a first attempt. No one climbed Mt Everest the first go, so if anything feels off or uncomfortable, stop and take a break.

It’s good practice to take a break here and there, as after hours of having sex, our body may need a break and time to cool down even if we’re not feeling it at the moment. During longer sessions, keep the lube handy – as we all want our bits and pieces to be happy and well-lubricated.

During wired sessions, it’s easy to get hot and heavy without thinking about sexual health or using protection…. and yes, it’s something that needs to be in the mix. Keeping condoms, gloves and damns nearby or in your pockets means that they are easily accessed when needed.

If barebacking is in the mix, then we need to think about another layer of protection – this time against HIV. Get informed about condoms, PrEP, undetectable viral load and PEP to know what works best for each of us to prevent HIV.

Before heading out to a wired play session, take a moment to think about where it’s located. Is it someone’s house, a beat or a sex venue? It can be handy to think about some of the risks for each location or place. Maybe write the location down before heading out or let a friend know – just in case we keep partying, lose our phone or the battery dies, and no one can get in contact with us. We don’t want to get people worried about us when we’re just having sex right?

If we’re heading to a beat, think about the ways that we can keep our stuff and ourselves safe by checking out Down an’ Dirty as they give a great overview of legal stuff when it comes to sex in public places.

If we’re blasting (aka injecting) drugs then we need to make sure we’ve got enough equipment so that we don’t have to share or reuse needles. Here’s a list of places that offer free clean needles.

It’s also handy to think beforehand about how we’re going to dispose of stuff if we’re injecting at someone’s house or a sex venue – will there be access to a yellow sharps container? And be careful not to overfill it or reuse the disposal container. Might be worth investing in a pocket needle container?

If we’re taking G, make sure we’ve got a plunger and wrap some sticky tape around it so the measurements don’t wear off after a few charges.

When we’re planning to hook up with someone, have a chat with them about what we’re up for and what we’re not up for.

If we’re planning to party then it’s important to set limits on our alcohol and drug use and what we plan on doing – including how much we plan to take, how much we’re going to spend, and what we’ll be okay with taking.

When we’re planning to hook up with someone, have a chat with them about what we’re up for and what we’re not up for.

If we’re planning to party then it’s important to set limits on our alcohol and drug use and what we plan on doing – including how much we plan to take, how much we’re going to spend, and what we’ll be okay with taking.

DISCLAIMER:
The information given on this page is not medical advice and should not be relied upon in that way.

SOBER SEX